Chicken Soup for the
Beer Drinker's Soul

 

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." --by Jack Handy (Al Franken)

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. --Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. --W. C. Fields

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? --Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! --Brian O'Rourke

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 862!

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a support.

Male Date Rape Drug Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting public house regulars to be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl. There is a drug called beer, that is essentially in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to convince their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking statistic is that beer is available virtually anywhere! All girls have to do is buy a beer or two for almost any guy and simply ask the guy home for no-strings attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. Please! Forward this to every male you know.

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